The Box

Hello Hamster.

Welcome to the New Box.

After you finish sucking the tit.

It’s time for Smart Box.

Here you will learn all about the various boxes.

Which to go in.

Which to go out.

When to go in.

When to go out.

So that someday.

You might get your own box.


You will have your own box.

On the condition you take the well-worn path.


To the running-boxes.

Where you find your wheel.

And run all day so you can get the little paper boxes.

Then, like a good hamster, you should hit the big box for some food.

In exchange for your paper boxes.

Return home to your very own box.

And watch The Glow Box until you fall asleep.

If you are not happy.

Go see Priest Hamster, at the Medical Box.

He will give you the happy snacks.

Those will make you happy in your box.

If you don’t like happy snacks.

Try the happy water, at the drinking box.

Though we do not encourage this sort of behavior.

You hamsters seem to like it so much we couldn’t resist.

All the paper boxes you give us for the happy water.

Just one thing.

Don’t ever make the happy water yourself.

And never smoke, eat, grow, buy, sell, or think about the happy grass.

We hate the happy grass.

Welcome to the New Box.

Goodbye Hamster.


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